Educating children want Gu Qi " Face "

Educating children want Gu Qi " Face "
Educating children want Gu Qi " Face "
The ancient saying has clouds: " trained the son before the hall, the back taught the wife " ,It means that educates children to carry on under the public, needn't leave face for children, but should teach the wife how to look after her face. Under the influence of such traditional thought, parents think the child has mistakes that should be criticized at once, no matter who is present? Or while talking about the child to the friend, always like talking about his shortcoming in front of child? Again or often force children to do his thing unwilling to do in front of the stranger? In fact, the child needs " face " too ," train the son before the hall " Not only can not reach the purpose to educate, but also may injure the child's self-esteem and self-confidence. Story one: Child take dish Ms. Wang go, participate in the intersection of friend and party, it takes 4 -year-old sons to be luxuriant and luxuriant reprimand. Another little to come too while being gentle child of friend it happened that, two little partner play all in that place quickly. At supper, insert a chicken leg luxuriantly and luxuriantly and a little clumsily, just while sending in the mouth, his small hands are aslant, the whole chicken leg fell to on the clothes, fell to the ground again immediately. See this scene, a stream of anger of Ms. Wang is washed and carried above, blame luxuriantly and luxuriantly loudly: "How stupidly it will be you, give new garment that you transfer to just! Little and gentle household why lose things do you think? " Listen to to reprimand mother, luxuriant to feel very sad immediately while being luxuriant, better to bear the tear while having in mind. After being reprimanded by mother, luxuriant and luxuriant and unwilling to take the cuisine really, just think of and bow to take the meal in oneself bowl. No matter how mother inserts dishes for him, he does not eat, represents the protest with this way. Story two: Give child one step Ms. Tan come off duty, come back, see, forget the neighbour with key is locked in at the door, then invite the neighbour to drop in family. Has never expected that has opened the door, Ms. Tan finds the white sofa of the family is in a mess, varicoloured the crayon drawing. Ms. Tan has to smile at to neighbour awkward, better to push down the anger in the own heart. After the neighbour leaves, Ms. Tan make 3 -year-old son little to call, come over while being beautiful, ask him pale sofa what is it about. It is small and beautiful with one's head low, say nothing. Ms. Tan thinks, continue askedding: "The grandmother, while cooking in the kitchen, did you play in the sitting room with the puppy just now? " It is small and beautiful to nod. "That mother has known, must be that the puppy makes the sofa dirty. It is small and beautiful can go to tell puppies, it is incorrect to paint on the sofa, if the puppy wants to paint afterwards, can draw on the blank sheet of paper, OK? " After mother goes away, the small beautiful whole face strokes puppies regretfully, seem to be thinking something. Have a meal, little to acknowledge the mistake to mum while being beautiful: "The sofa is not drawn by the puppy, it was I that drew. Mum, I will never paint on the sofa afterwards. " The baby has too " Rebel against one " "Children got 2 years old ago a long time long, began to present independent consciousness. Too often can appear, ' I ' vocabulary speak at ordinary times. The child at this stage, often emphasize the importance of one's own position, have sure ability to distinguish right and wrong, also will demonstrate certain self-esteem. " Expert says child-bearing, this stage will generally last until 6- 7 years old, someone's rebel's issue of first known as child. Though the child is young, there is a self-esteem too, concerned about face-saving, some children's self-esteem is even better than that of the adult. So the adult can't injure the child's self-esteem and self-confidence certainly while educating children, this is a principle of education. The expert thinks, the child is an independent individual, is a dignified person like adult, need respecting like adult. If parents reprimand the child in front of a lot of people, the child will produce and conflict the psychology, even know oneself is wrong, but will not accept in the heart either. Reprimand the child, force children to make the weakness of the thing not liked by oneself, exposure child etc. in front of the stranger, these behaviors will let child's immature soul produce sense of defeat and shame sense, leave the child's psychology the shade. In addition, the child often criticized in front of the stranger by parents, will lack sense of safety and distrust to parents, thus drift apart the relation with parents. The child is not respected in front of parents, it is often the reason why parents and child produce estrangement. Moreover, the feeling of ignoring the child " trains the son before the hall " ,Will also lead to the fact the child presents some psychological problems, for example feel self-humiliation etc.. The expert says, some children will even present extreme feeling self-humiliation under the influence of this kind, the in fact extreme one feels self-humiliation and is corresponded to extreme self-respect, if careless guided, will bury the hidden danger on the child's soul. Once break out, even will bring out the crime. Must guard against to educate children " The family scandal is raised outside " Cherish child's face, should pay attention to not advocating the child's mistake. Lead children to go out to run into the acquaintance, commend to the child in the face of the friend, a lot of parents will afraid the child will be complacent after hearing, then scold his fault to the stranger painstakingly in front of the child. Scold the child's shortcoming under this kind of occasion at will, not merely can't get the result of controlling children to be proud, will injure the child's self-esteem and self-confidence instead. Also there are parents while talking about the child together, it is " exchanged " that the joke that will have made a noise the child in the past is taken . These solid food things taking place on child, it is a joke in adult's eyes, in child's heart but it is a thing which concerns face. So parents while chatting together, can't or joke regard as discuss money shortcoming of child, so as not to injure children. If child do getting wrong thing, parents had better in educate among a small circle too while educating children. Otherwise will let children experience the quilt " Criticize and denounce " Mood. Parents educate the child's purpose after all, it is to want to let the child's mistake corrected, the problem is solved. (American American mother)


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